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Do dress well Someone once told me a useful rule when it comes shopping for your age.
Twenties = shock; thirties = chic; forties and beyond = cheque. Leave the trend-led streetwear to youngsters who need to compensate for a lack of personality or confidence. Now is the time for creating a capsule wardrobe, a slick canvas of smart pieces which make the most of the fact that you can now actually carry-off “suave” without looking like you're wearing your dad's wedding suit to a funeral.
But see, for men who covet younger women, it’s not whether you look good for your age — it’s what age you really are. If she wants to date a guy who is 6’2”, makes 0,000 , likes skiing, is within ten miles of her house and five years of her age, you know what? All she has to do is go on Match.com, and wade through a few thousand applicants. There are many other things that are attractive about older men. They can afford nicer restaurants and vacations and have cultivated greater tastes in the arts.
They’re more experienced, more chivalrous, and more likely to want to settle down than a twentysomething party boy.
Would men consider having an open-ended relationship with a woman 15–20 years older? A full-on relationship involves not only commitments but also starts involving friends and family, which in turn means a degree of compatibility much greater than dating requires.
For this to work, it would be best for the woman to have taken good care of herself physically because most people (men AND women) do a first-level evaluation of a couple based on appearances, and it can get tiresome to constantly deal with how other people react to the couple for age-related reasons.
But let’s not pretend that we, as a culture, don’t worship at the altar of youth. Don’t get me wrong, there are advantages in a 45-year-old guy. He’s got the job and the home and the car, and been divorced with a kid already.
If you’re over the age of 40 and have ever said, “But I’m told I look five years younger than my age”, then you’re not immune to it yourself. And nobody has more choices than a 28-year-old woman. So if a woman finds it more appealing to just step into that world — to jump from the prolonged adolescence of the late 20’s into full-fledged settled-down womanhood — that could make sense.
All the issues raised above of having a relationship apply, but also now you bring into the picture the additional issues of having children, different perspectives and priorities about money, as well as life-changing issues for the woman like retirement, menopause, and health issues a decade or more before the younger man will even begin relating to such concerns.
There are enough hurdles to making a relationship work, however old you are, so why let age add more stress?
If you don’t make it an issue, chances are it won’t be.
If you really like her, just go with the flow and be yourself, regardless of whether “yourself” is a silly, dorky, immature 57-year old or a wise and mature 24.
Do be understanding I can get kind of defensive when dating older guys, worried that some might see me as another notch on the bedpost, or fresh meat to pass the time until someone more serious comes along.