Dating men who are separated
“…only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn’t exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being.” Rainer Maria Rilke 11. It's kind of like hanging out with your platonic female divorced friend and hearing her perspective on your divorce and your love life issues. I'm heading into the permanent separation stage with the outcome being divorce. However, she does not want to proceed until my divorce is finalized. Should I forget about her or text her from time to time?
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If you come across as a normal human being and not an over-sexualized creep during the first conversation, well, then you are already ahead of the curve.
We started talking, then texting, and he told me straight-up that he'd been separated for six months. I would text him something funny to start off the day, and we would spend the majority of the day talking about what made each other tick. We shared the little things, the childhood things, the adult things, the big things.
I was newly single and in my mid-twenties, and after weeks of being told that it was time to put myself back out there, I decided that there was no harm in using Tinder. His marriage was over, and it had been over for some time, even before the separation, he said. We shared shreds of information, the things that make us who we are. Me: living together with a long-term partner whom I loved but didn't see myself with in the future.
That was my first mistake, especially since I hadn't been in the dating game since Tinder even existed. He also said his mind was made up and he'd moved on. We connected and spent a few hours sipping beer and chatting. Him: married, seperated from the woman he had been with for more than eight years, with whom he shared a son. He also loved making plans that he had no intention of following through on. Maybe it was the night that he texted me, "Home with the ex and baby tonight. It was the way I wondered if they were sharing a bed.