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Desire Resort & Spa is an all-inclusive, couples-only, clothing-optional resort that attracts a range of couples, from older married couples to young nudists to swingers.This is a place only for those interested in a raucous vacation (sex is allowed in some public spaces, such as the whirlpool area and the Sin Room) — but as a four-pearl resort, it offers a wide array of amenities: There is a nice pool and a large whirlpool (both with ocean views), a well-equipped fitness center, a small spa with treatments for two, a nightclub with a stripper pole, and four restaurants.

Most feature heart-shaped whirlpool tubs with split-level sitting areas that have fireplaces and tube-style TVs, or guests can opt to book a room with a Champagne glass-shaped whirlpool.

Paradise Stream Resort is the most conveniently located of three couples-only resorts in the Poconos region owned by Cove Haven, though it has fewer on-site amenities than its sister properties. In fact, Hotel Amour is replete with phallic and nude-y paraphernalia.

It’s otherwise similar in terms of its all-suite rooms designed to ignite passion with wood-burning fireplaces and heart-shaped whirlpool baths, and a hand-painted sign outside exclaims, “You Are Entering the Land of Love.” Wait. The hotel’s design was inspired by the Japanese model of love hotels, and the owners have invested a tidy sum of money in developing the concept; for example, they hired the services of well-known fashion designer Chantal Thomass to design certain rooms, like the one shown above, that are sure to get guests in the mood for “amour.” Appropriately situated in the heart of the Pigalle quarter, which is known among tourists for its sex shops and adult theaters, the hotel is just a 10-minute walk from the infamous Moulin Rouge.

Thanksgiving has passed and you now have less than a month to redeem yourself for your holiday debauchery before Christmas.

(Santa saw that you had a few too many glasses of spiked cider, and got into an argument with your uncle over gun control -- again.) We think you stand a chance, but some people -- and hotels, for that matter -- will always wind up on the naughty list; at least the positive is, they rarely seem to care.

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